Silently he cursed
by Lapyx
Summary: The beginning of Percy Ignatius Weasley. (not related to MDD)
1. It started with a bang

**4 March 1980**

_It was suddenly became so silent in the wood._

Something must be wrong with his eardrums; why else would there be a ringing sound in there, instead of the previous shouting.

The night sky had frozen.

For the first time in his life, the world felt so displaced in his reality; like it wasn't real, like it was just a dream.

So he tried to find proof that .._this thing __is happening"; _by rising his hands.

He stared.

His small hands, _..why are they trembling so much?"_

Slowly another sound started to accompany the ringing;

...a harsh breathing.

Whose breathing was this, it should not be his, because he was supposed to be quiet.

His order was _not_ to be heard. Yet, this ringing.. This harsh breathing..

His chest hurts.

_"_.. _I CAN'T BREATH!"_

His reliable legs decided it was time to desert him, so he was down on the hard ground.

_Why?_

_What happened? _

No, he knew what happened. He just refused to believe it until he checked the sight in front of him again, and again.

And again.

After ultimately confirmed what he had thought was correct, his mind suddenly became cleared.

The heartbeats slowly return to the normal rates.

_Dup.. dup.._

The ringing was no longer there. And he could hear, once again,

.. the wind rustling the leaves.

.. the sound of faraway animals escaping from the situation in the wood.

.. and several _pieces _stuck on the trunk, branches, and leaves; falling down.

_.. Tak_

_.. Tak_

_..Tak._

The young boy could practically felt every parts of his being shuddered violently.

His eyes hurt from widen too much. He hadn't even closed them yet since _that moment _happened.

His throat felt strangely parched.

Something inside of him determinedly squeeze his heart.

The young boy clutched the grass around him in a tight fist.

But strangely,

He felt...

..free.

_"..should.. should I be happy?"_, he pondered.

_".. I.. I don't..."_, he didn't know what to feel. He tried to ask for forgiveness.

_".. I'm sor.."_

No.

The young boy stopped. He was not sorry.

He looked at the _mess _in front of him again.

* * *

He was a young boy, of age should still be cuddling with their parents; a boy of five years old.

He was a young boy sat with a trembling body in the wood late at night, unaccompanied, with no plan in his mind.

It would be nice to say that it was one of many accidents where children as reckless as they were would wandered off by themselves into the danger.

But this night had been like a routine to the boy for so many years; it was just this time that the night had felt particularly _colder_, to the point it seeped into the bones.

It was only this night the boy had been so close to one of those _masked people._

The young child's body was still trembling, yet his pair of eyes won't take off from examining the _mess_..

again.

Until the umpteenth time, until he checked that _yes, __he was no longer there, he's dead.. he doesn't even have a body anymore" _; did the boy feel a sigh left his body.

A strong smell of iron assaulted his nose.

_".. aaa..."_

_".. ahhhh.."_

_"... wahhh."_

Should he cry? He should be quiet..

Should he cry?

_".. waahhhhh."_

But he checked the _mess_ again, and they were there.

.. when previously it was a person.

.. filled with energy, and shouting

.. _when previously it was a__ body with an intent to kill_.

The young boy stared at the sight no young child should witness, with a feeling like a knot had loosen in his heart.

He cried, and cried; for the first time he ignored the order, he cried.

_"... aahh..", _

the tears had blurred his vision.

His snot got into his mouth.

His hands hurt from clutching too tightly at the grass.

_".. I'm.."_

He took a breath, let it out,

.. and wondered if he should felt grateful.

Some wizards had it easy with their magic.

Their accidental magic didn't occur when their lives were threatened.

But his..

_".. it started with a bang."_

When the pain became too much, he stopped. Perhaps too suddenly. The boy didn't know how to act. He just felt he had to stop.

Again, he studied the _mess_ before him.

A calm he never had entered his mind.

_"... finally.. it's finally.."_

the corners of his lips slowly lifted.

They shouldn't.

But the boy could not find it in himself to care.


	2. A mother's guilt

The very first memory Percy Ignatius Weasley had of his mother, was the face of _anguish_.

It should not be the face to greet a newborn, no matter how displeased a mother was.

But it was not hatred hidden under the anguish facade.

No.

It was guilt.

Because Percy Ignatius Weasley should not be born when the world was not made for him.

When his world was not ready.

His world had yet known peace.

It was not yet a world to welcome a newborn with the hope of sunshine,

.. and a normal childhood.

* * *

**22 August**** 19****76**

.. _Rumble.. rumble.._

The wall she leaned on crumbled a little bit.

_"This thing won't last long.." _she thought.

But she couldn't care much

Because something much important was happening.

... _heeve.._

_.. hoo._

_.. heeve._

She tried breathing carefully. Taking a big breath .. _heeve.._

and let it out .. _hoo._

The dust around her flying around forming a suffocating cloud.

_" .. __this place is not ideal._

_.. no._

_.. it is the whole thing.. "_

She sobbed, mourning the fate of her condition, splaying on the cold wet floor,

.. on her own in an abandoned house..

.. with clear liquid _pouring out_ from her under.

_".. aahhh..!"_

A wave of pain kept assaulting her middle, working to push something out of her body,

muscles cramping and trusting,

legs wide apart to give an opening,

hip bones felt like breaking,

... _" he's coming..!"_

She knew what she need to do.

_"Silencio."_

She muttered, as she pointed her wand to herself.

And then she pushed.

Yes, she pushed

_" ...!!!!"_

There was no one besides her.

No one even knew what's happening to her right now.

_"...!!!!!!!!!!"_

She pushed again.

"...!!!!!!!!!!"

It was tiring.

She could felt the energy for pushing draining her life away.

And yet, the muscles continued to _push._

_"...!!!!!!!!!!!"_

She was alone giving birth in a dark,

surrounded by crumbled walls.

The feeling of hysterical was starting to make an appearance.

_Why._

_Why._

_Why._

_Why._

_Why. _She sobbed.

And then she could feel it. _The crown of the head._

So she steadied the wand again in her sweaty shaky hand,

breaking herself from her own spell,

and casted,

_".. silencio."_

Without anyone knowing of the baby's existence aside from his mother, he was born in a dark,

it was cold,

it was dingy,

it was full a dust,

.. and there was a feeling of high tension in the air.

She sobbed for the fate of her child.

Percy Weasley was born in a way no baby should be born.

He was born _silently._

* * *

**16 June 1977**

The toddler was sleeping peacefully in her arms.

It should be a sight where a mother would gaze affectionately at her child. But Molly Weasley could never face her son truthfully.

She knew she shouldn't do that,

.. but the only feeling she had as his mother was only guilt.

This heavy feeling in her chest would never enable herself to look at her child in the eyes,

and be proud of being his mom. Be happy for bringing him into this life.

She wasn't.

As a mother, Molly Weasley hated herself for bringing her son up in misery. She hated herself.

Her child would never experienced a normal upbringing in a calm household, not like her first two children when this _thing_ started.

_" This whole_ _thing."_

Molly Weasley could feel herself fumed.

The anger made her blood boiled so bad, she needed to sit down to avoid putting her child into danger.

_" .. how did it happen?" _

The sleeping toddler continued snuggling in her embrace, unaware of her feeling.

Sleeping peacefully.

Ignorant of the world he's living in, fighting for the peace

..she heaved a deep sigh.

* * *

At first, the wizards and witchers didn't take too much notice when this_ thing_ happened.

Because they thought it had nothing to do with them.

Only the _impure _wizards and witchers, not deserving their standings in the high community, were being murdered.

The _mud-blood_.

The _squibs_.

The _mixed-blood._

These people were seen as having no real value in their community.

Almost like _pests _that needed to be discard.

And so the _true _wizards and witchers didn't pay much mind

.. until it was their own people _mudded _into this _thing._

Bit, by bit,

the _true-blooded _began to rise to the occasion like it was a calling.

A supreme ruler, the Lord, they called; reigned over the land with fear as his power.

There were no hesitation in practising the dark magics openly anymore,

Almost as if, there was no fear of being judged as _dark_ wizards and witchers

The fear of being ostracized was diminished, as the feeling of being in the power heightened.

The rest of the community was appalled, _to say the least._

There were no rules.

No orders.

The _dark practitioners _boldly took every situation into their hands.

It was not a war.

It shouldn't be called a war.

Because _this thing _was worse than that; when a group of _masked people _thought it was right to murder beings that were not up to their criterias.

This group ruthlessly find their victims who often times not aware they were being hunted.

_These people_ had no preparations.

_They_ had no mean intentions.

_They_ were only trying to live their lives.

A war should only be called _war_ when two sides decided to fight each other.

This was not war.

_It was slaughter._

The time of chaos in the magic community started when the group of masked people who called themselves Death Eater proudly and selfishly decided who got to live, _and who needed_ to die.

All in the name of blood supremacy ideology.

and clung tightly to the idea that, _they thought they were bringing justice to the wizards community._

* * *

The Lord, _Voldemort_; he was called, was said to be one of the greatest wizards of their time.

He knew every dark magics existed. There were almost no survivors when they came to face him.

His power initiated the feeling of admiration from the wizards of ancient blood line, who believed _dark magics _should be embraced, not hide as if they were never existed.

This Lord became the pillar of assurance to _these wizards _when they felt like their power were threatened.

The power he waved was so smooth and strong, it made him seemed invincible.

Lord Voldemort had no opponents.

There was no wizards who could face him down squarely,

.. except for his old professor, _Albus Dumbledore._

But only his power was not enough. He needed some assistance from the wizards and witchers who wish to stop this facade together with him.

There were many.

And these fighters decided to move as one.

They decided to entrust Dumbledore, the only wizard Lord Voldemort had hard time with; the power of making the decisions.

These wizards and witchers were determine to make the peace return again.

Even when there were times when they fell, and failed

They would rise from the dust.

They united under the name of

_.. the Order of Phoenix._

* * *

But then Molly wondered if she had done a big mistake, by being one of the active members in the group.

They knew her name.

They knew her _face._

She had hard time living for a long time.

Her family's life was always on the brink of danger.

She was forced to give away her two children to be hide and safe.

Always on the run.

Always need to fight.

Molly Weasley had never felt regret before. But she was now.

..when she missed hearing her baby cry clearly.

* * *

Molly Weasley felt guilty.

She felt like there was something wrong with their bond as parent and child, when she rarely heard him cry.

_"Hush baby, hush... don't you cry.._

_Everything is alright.._

_Mummy is here for you.. "_

She tried shushing the little babe in her arms, even when he was still sleeping peacefully.

But it had become like a lullaby to him.

He continued to sleep.

* * *

_"Hush baby, hush..."_

When their hiding was found, she needed to run again. She needed to be quiet.

She needed her child to be quiet.

_"Hush.."_

When the fighting was required in life threatening situation, she needed to place him somewhere safe so he won't be discovered.

_"Hush baby, hush... don't you cry.. Mummy is here for you.. mummy is here.."_

She repeated the words to her babe, like a mantra that would keep him safe.

_".. mummy is here.. hush, baby"_

But it seemed like the mantra work so well.

_".. hush, baby.."_

Percy Weasley was never fussy when he needed be.

He was a well behaved child.

He never act in a way that would cause anyone to worry.

_".. it's alright"_

Not even when the sound of something exploding was near;

..or the sound of someone screaming in anguish was heard;

..or the sound of someone laughed and shout in all sense of craziness, could stir the quiet baby.

_" ... mummy is here.. mummy is here.. "_

Percy Weasley was a perfect child to have, when you were on the run with your life hanging on the thread.

He never cause a case to worry.

And because of that, Molly Weasley worried.

* * *

_"... ooh Merlin.."_

_"oooh. ..I'm sorry.. "_

_"I'm so sorry Percy dear.."_

In a world where she was unable to hear her baby's voice, a world of silent for the sake of survival; she knew it was not ideal to have a new addition in her family during the time of fighting and running.

Yet all she could do was hope that her baby could survive.

Thus she repeated again,

_"Hush baby, hush.. don't cry.. "_

_"...mummy is here for you.."_

She rarely heard his voice.

And she was sorry for the life she gave him.


	3. The newest brother

_"..Bill"_

She felt like crying.

It's been almost a year since she last saw her children.

This war seemed unending.

They all had been on the run since forever.

This child before her had grown, suddenly seem much matured for his age

.. growing up, without her by his side.

She tried to urge her oldest son to come closer, but still the child decided to remain a few steps away

..the boy looked at the_ thing _in his mother's arms

Feeling wary.

He tried to find answers by inspecting his mother's face

_"... who?"_

Realising her oldest son tried to identify the toddler in her arms, the mother walked towards him instead.

stepping up carefully so as not to startle her child.

_"... his name is Percy Ignatius Weasley"_

The six years old boy widened his eyes.

_"... Weasley?"_

She nodded, before finally gotten in front him.

The six years old tried to take steps back, but the mother quickly hold his right shoulder,

and kneeling down slowly while carrying the toddler in her arm.

The hand that was on Bill's shoulder, moved to his face, softly, and she held her eyes to her son's, making the child unable to look away.

_"... it's been a while, Bill"_ the voice contained some wetness to it, as she tried not to cry.

_"... I missed you."_

Alas, she lost.

The tears fell from her eyes, like a broken dam.

The hand that was on the boy's face changed it's destination to his back,

as she tried to embrace him, while also holding her several months toddler.

_"I missed you, Bill._

_I missed you.."_

And being a six years old child, spending the past year running and hiding with his uncles and their team,

separating from a mother's warmth and embraces

not hearing the affectionate voices who would said that _everything would be okay _

for a long, long time..

he then _jumped_ into the hug with forces that screamed - _all_ the frustration, _all_ the fears, all worries that he had for his mother.

_"... mom!_

_... mom!_

_... mom, I miss you too.."_

And the boy, the first son, William Arthur Weasley, tried his best to reacquaintance himself to his mother's

_warmth_

_sound_

_odours_

_feels_

... holding the mother tightly, avenging the time that had lost between the two of them.

* * *

After some time had past, and both son and the mother calmed down,

they went into one of the room in the safe house,

where the rest of the people in the house politely gave them time and space to catching up to each other.

_"... so you got separated from Charlie."_

she asked, while combing her child's hair on her lap. The toddler sleeping on the bed they sat.

_"... yeah."_

The boy weakly nodded, feeling sadden by separation.

_"... it's alright. He's alright. We will see him again..."_

She assured her son, combing through the hair that felt soothing.

_"... Uncle Fabian said that, they had no choice."_

Molly Weasley tried to remember the story she heard from her brother.

_"... it IS war. They had no choice.. "_

The war that the two siblings needed to be separated,- because it was a sudden attack

Gideon took Charlie, while Fabian took Bill.

They then, separated to different directions, and promised each other to arrive at one of the safe houses they decided beforehand.

It's been three days.

Molly desperately wished for her brother's and son's safety.

She ran her fingers through her son's hair again.

_"... mom?"_

Soothing_._

_"... yes, Bill?"_

Her son looked anxious, and throwing his sight from the toddler to his mother, back to back.

_"... is he..?"_

She smiled softly.

_"... this is Percy Ignatius Weasley" _she introduced him again, with a little addition,

_"... your brother."_

Silence seemed to fall between the two of them. Her oldest son still felt a little bit nervous.

_"... __brother?"_

With little hand, her son tried to touch his newest brother.

_"... he.. is small."_

That the toddler, since the beginning of emotional meeting still deeply sleeping, even amongst the ruckus of sobbing and hugging between a mother and a son that had _violently _letting their emotions out,

.._stirred awoke_ when touched by the warmth of a small hand.

Percy Weasley slowly opened his eyes. Staring right at his brother's.

_"They're blue..," _the other exclaimed softly, in marvel of a colour he longed to see.

_"... like __the sky."_

* * *

Like how once upon a time he ran down the hill, went into the meadow with his brother, exploring the field, running around freely.

Laughing.

Feeling like the world is a happy place, spending the time with only two of them.

And when they had enough fun, they just stop,

and lie down unto the ground. Looking up into the sky.

Feeling content.

* * *

He saw the same sky in the toddler's eyes, and the six year old could not help, but letting the melancholic feeling engulfed himself.

_"... mom," _he sounded out in a small voice.

_"yes, my dear?", _the wonderful hand combing at his hair again. Slowly the sadness dissipated from his body.

_".. I.. I like his eyes," _Bill said this as he carefully cared his_ newest brother's _face.

The toddler seemed to like the touch, as the eyes dimmed much softer, and the face pulled into the warmth of his older brother's hand.

Bill laughed a little. He felt something tugged at his heart.

_This baby is so __small!_

He straightened his back from his mother's lap. And moved closer to the toddler.

Said toddler seemed to realise that the brother was getting to him, and pulled himself into full awareness, starting to crawl towards the targeted person.

When he did reached his older brother (at short distance), this time the toddler put his hands on his brother's face.

With a beaming smile.

Bill felt elated.

_" .. mom, he touch me," _he said as he still couldn't believed he could feel overwhelming happiness from such simple touch.

_" ... Yes.. Yes, Bill.. He likes you,"_ the mother could feel her eyes starting to get watery from the display.

She couldn't believe she could witness a bonding of siblings as touching as this.

Oh how once upon a time it was just her and a baby she kept on shushing, even with the baby just being quiet.

Her baby was now a year and several months old.

She wondered if the continuous running and hiding would rendered her baby to have slow growth.

He still in the crawling phase after all.

And she could hardly heard him babbling and laughing,

Like she used to with her previous two children when they were young.

She felt like she faulted him somehow.

* * *

Her oldest son laughed.

_"Mom! He smiled! He smiled!" _Bill seemed to enjoy the attention he got from his baby brother.

_"His small hands touching me!"_

He laughed again.

_It__ had been so long... _she thought.

Then, she watched as her oldest son couldn't contained himself, and grabbed the baby to bring him closer.

Her hands hanging near them, _" .. be careful."_

He laughed again.

And yes, he did know how to hold a baby brother carefully, even though he did not have any experience, because Charlie was just a year younger than him, and he was a babe himself.

Still, he handled the toddler with care, so gentle and soft, while feeling fascinated by the colour of his brother's eyes and the sight of beaming smile.

He laughed. He just felt happy.

_".. his name is Percy?" _he asked with a voice so soft, suddenly afraid of this fragile being he held in his hands.

_" ...Yes. Percy."_

The toddler touched his face again.

He laughed. Then, the toddler laughed.

Such unexpected sound, the mother was flabbergasted.

_" .. he... laughs?"_

Her two children seemed unaware of her new discovery, as they continuously laughing, and giggling, even when they stopped for breath, when suddenly they erupted into laughing again.

'_He laughed._'

She inspected the display carefully.

...her youngest son also felt delighted by the sound of his brother's laugher.

...they enjoyed each other's company and sound through and through.

...the carved smiles on their faces were genuine and came from their hearts.

She felt a little bit pensive.

'_Of course he laughed._'

They laugh some more.

'_He never laugh with me.._

_.. because I don't laugh._'

The display left her having mixed feelings.

She was not an adequate mother.

_"Perrcyyyy!"_

That sing song voice brought her out of her own reverie.

_"I ammmm.. your BIG BROTHER!"_

And the oldest son hugged his newest brother with enthusiasms.


End file.
